Dude Stuff

First off, I will start off by saying that I enjoy the company of the opposite sex. Women are the gentler gender. They are sweet and loyal and understanding to the feelings of another...and it absolutely makes me sick.

I don't know when it happened or exactly how it happened, but I somehow have reached a point where I have more girl friends than guy friends. I want to say this blow has been dealt by the fact that the guy friends I do have are now in relationships, therefore are usually not allowed to go out and play, but I'm not sure. Such a sad scenario if that is the case.

I've been a recluse as of late, but that's because I want go out and do dude stuff. I want to get made fun of for being a pussy and return the favor. I want to get punched (where it actually hurts) and go out and just be as vulgar as the English language can handle and be absolutely ridiculous.

Instead I get stuck with girl talk, which is pretty close to water boarding I assume.
I feel like the guy in I Love You, Man. The other day I got a bloody nose and I felt like I probably received the menstrual cycle of one of my girl friends.

Once again, to all my dear friends of the female kind. This is not an insult. You are beautiful people. I just feel like Mowgli in the wolf pack and I need to get with my peoples, yo.