All Dogs Go To Heaven...Right?

I love animals. I always have. There's something about them that reminds me of innocence. Friends make fun of me because I tend to go to icanhazcheeseburger.com. So what? I find that stuff funny. I LOVE animals. (not in that way pervs)

With that said, I want to gruesomely murder my neighbor's dog. I fantasize about it in bed at 7am when the barkings begin. I've lived where I'm at for quite some time and this was never an issue until recently. Before, the dog would howl at police/firetruck sirens, and I always found that to be amusing. Hell, I'd even smile at that sometimes.

I don't know what has changed. The dog will go on a barking frenzy that will sometimes last more than two hours. The worst is when it starts barking early in the morning.

The morning barkings lead to some of the most obscure thoughts as I'm usually half asleep. (they get more ridiculous the sleepier I am) Some are as follows:

1. Sometimes I clap and say "shut up" as if I think that's going to accomplish anything.

2. I consider talking with the neighbor's about how much their dog is an asshole.

3. I contemplated opening their backyard gate. I also imagine this idea coming back to bite me...literally.

4. I think about waiting for the dog to go to sleep so then I can start making a lot of noise to piss it off.

5. I wondered how much it would cost to ship the dog to Korea.

6. I thought about how its possible to score some tranquilizer pills so I could do that whole tiger thing in The Hangover.

It's actually barking right now as I type this. Probably the reason I decided to blog again. Lack of sleep.